There’s a new state health inspector in town. And he’s rigidly by the book. Not something we see a lot of here in laid-back Key West, but when we do, the Coconut Telegraph starts to buzz.

Florida’s Department of Business and Professional Regulation bans dogs from public restaurants and bars. However, the law is rarely enforced. On February 15, the new inspector cited and fined Schooner Wharf Bar for “critical and repeat violation for allowing non-service animals on the premises.”

In a separate sue-crazy incident that aggravates the situation, a Massachusetts tourist who tripped over a dog at Turtle Kraals four years ago was awarded $18,000 for injuries and suffering by a jury this April. In a welcome but uncharacteristically equitable turn of events, the owner of the restaurant/bar was only held accountable for half, negligence being placed equally on the patron. But the 50-percent decision was enough for Turtle Kraals owner, the Southernmost Restaurant Group, to ban dogs from all six of its Key West eateries.

Key West is perhaps the most dog-friendly town in America. And The Schooner, particularly, has a long-standing tradition of patrons hanging out with their pooches, enjoying the salty breeze off the Bight while sipping a cool one, listening to music and, in general, just soaking up the pure Key West ambience of the place. So entrenched is this tradition that the watering hole’s slogan is “Hang with the Big Dogs”, and there is even a song called “Schooner Wharf Bar Dog”.

Not to be daunted, Schooner Wharf owners and patrons – in fact, the whole Historic Seaport neighborhood, and extending to the local community at large – have rallied, paw-in-hand. There’s a loophole in Florida’s “doggie dining” regulations that was signed into permanent law in 2006. Known as the Dixie Cup Clary Local Control Act, it allows cities and counties to override the legislation by adopting a local ordinance. With the sponsorship of one of our City commissioners and the support of all the others, right down to the Mayor, a new ordinance that would legalize the long-standing practice of allowing dogs at open-air Key West restaurants may soon mean that Fido and Fifi will be, once again, taking their well-behaved people out for some quality bonding-and-brew time at their favorite hangouts.

The ordinance will be voted on tomorrow night at the Key West City Commission meeting.  Assuming its easy passage, a few simple rules will be required to be followed by the hosting establishments. Among these are a special City permit that requires proof of at least $1 million in liability insurance. Most prudent businesses carry that as a matter of course, so no big deal. Conspicuous signage will have to be posted, advising of the wisdom of regular hand washing (Big Brother, protect us from ourselves …) and sanitizer must be provided.

Dogs will be required to be leashed and won’t be allowed in laps or on chairs. They’ll be “carded” for a current license or rabies tag … and their owners will have to carry the corresponding paperwork, to be produced upon request (eye roll, here …)

Long may the Paper Toting Pooches rule!