Florida’s Department of Business and Professional Regulation bans dogs from public restaurants and bars. However, the law is rarely enforced. On February 15, the new inspector cited and fined Schooner Wharf Bar for “critical and repeat violation for allowing non-service animals on the premises.”

In a separate sue-crazy incident that aggravates the situation, a Massachusetts tourist who tripped over a dog at Turtle Kraals four years ago was awarded $18,000 for injuries and suffering by a jury this April. In a welcome but uncharacteristically equitable turn of events, the owner of the restaurant/bar was only held accountable for half, negligence being placed equally on the patron. But the 50-percent decision was enough for Turtle Kraals owner, the Southernmost Restaurant Group, to ban dogs from all six of its Key West eateries.

Key West is perhaps the most dog-friendly town in America. And The Schooner, particularly, has a long-standing tradition of patrons hanging out with their pooches, enjoying the salty breeze off the Bight while sipping a cool one, listening to music and, in general, just soaking up the pure Key West ambience of the place. So entrenched is this tradition that the watering hole’s slogan is “Hang with the Big Dogs”, and there is even a song called “Schooner Wharf Bar Dog”.

Not to be daunted, Schooner Wharf owners and patrons – in fact, the whole Historic Seaport neighborhood, and extending to the local community at large – have rallied, paw-in-hand. There’s a loophole in Florida’s “doggie dining” regulations that was signed into permanent law in 2006. Known as the Dixie Cup Clary Local Control Act, it allows cities and counties to override the legislation by adopting a local ordinance. With the sponsorship of one of our City commissioners and the support of all the others, right down to the Mayor, a new ordinance that would legalize the long-standing practice of allowing dogs at open-air Key West restaurants may soon mean that Fido and Fifi will be, once again, taking their well-behaved people out for some quality bonding-and-brew time at their favorite hangouts.

The ordinance will be voted on tomorrow night at the Key West City Commission meeting.  Assuming its easy passage, a few simple rules will be required to be followed by the hosting establishments. Among these are a special City permit that requires proof of at least $1 million in liability insurance. Most prudent businesses carry that as a matter of course, so no big deal. Conspicuous signage will have to be posted, advising of the wisdom of regular hand washing (Big Brother, protect us from ourselves …) and sanitizer must be provided.

Dogs will be required to be leashed and won’t be allowed in laps or on chairs. They’ll be “carded” for a current license or rabies tag … and their owners will have to carry the corresponding paperwork, to be produced upon request (eye roll, here …)

Long may the Paper Toting Pooches rule!

70 miles west of Key West lies a cluster of keys that are the true end of the chain of islands known as the Florida Keys (you thought it was Key West, didn’t you?) Upon discovering them in 1513, Spanish explorer in the New World, Ponce de Leon, dubbed the westernmost islands Las Tortugas, “The Turtles”. “Dry” was an admonition to mariners noted on navigational charts, warning that there was no fresh water to be found there.

Elevated to National Park status in 1992, the history of the Dry Tortugas began in 1825 with the construction of a light house at a strategic spot amidst the rocky shoals, on Garden Key. In 1846, construction began on what was to become the largest brick structure in the western hemisphere, a part of the US chain of coastal defense forts known today as Fort Jefferson. Covering eleven acres of Garden Key’s sixteen, it remains incomplete today. Construction went on for over 30 years, plagued by materials and logistics problems and Yellow Fever epidemics. During the process, the rifled cannon was invented, rendering the fort obsolete because its thick walls could then be penetrated. With this development, construction was abandoned.

During the Civil War, the fort was used as a military prison for captured deserters. It was there that the four men convicted of complicity in President Abraham Lincoln’s assassination were held, including the infamous Dr. Samuel Mudd. The Army ceased operations at “Fort Jeff” in 1874.

In the early years of the twentieth century, the cluster of keys became a wildlife refuge. In 1935, Fort Jefferson was proclaimed a National Monument, encompasing 100 square miles of geography, both above and below sea level.

Today, May 10, Key West Seaplane Charters begins flying to the Dry Tortugas. It has been two years since a former company offered a similar trip. This is a most welcome return of service, as it is arguably the most exciting attraction in Key West. Half and whole-day trips are offered. The inaugural flight is underway as I write this, and we have Tropical Inn guests on board. I can hardly wait for their return, to hear their review!

The flight out takes about 45 minutes. Skimming along just above the water, everyone has a birds eye view of denizens of the deep as they go about their daily life. You’ll spot rays, sharks, sea turtles, and pods of dolphins in the crystal clear waters. There is even a sunken ship resting on the ocean floor that you’ll fly over. Landing and takeoff is exhilarating, and a unique experience for the uninitiated.

Once on land, you’ll have ample time to explore the fort, either on your own or with an interpreter who will fill you in on its history. Then gear up for snorkeling, as you venture below the ocean’s surface for some amazing sights of the underwater world in the surrounding environs.

This trip is primo. You just gotta do it!

This year’s festival features over 100 songwriters performing their own material at venues all over Old Town, many outdoors and most free of charge.  Live music and salt air is a naturally intoxicating combination, but when it’s infused with the exuberance of the songwriters themselves, sharing their creations as they were conceived — straight from the heart — Key West takes on an energy that’s hard to describe.  These are the lyrics you hear on the radio, intimately presented with all the passion that inspired them.  Sounds sexy, doesn’t it?  It is.

Come join us for a long, mellow weekend of sun, song, tropical breezes, and free-flowing libations.  The Tropical Inn is sold out except for one room.  Be the lucky one to nab it.

Awhile back, we had a newlywed bride that came to the office at The Tropical Inn, almost in tears.  She had planned the perfect honeymoon, choosing our most private accommodation, the Pineapple Hideaway.  But she wasn’t happy.

Never mind the rose petals on the bed, the chilled champagne in the bucket, and chocolate-dipped strawberries awaiting her arrival.   Never mind the romantic private patio garden with Jacuzzi-for-two under the stars.  Never mind, for crying out loud, the excitement of being a newlywed!

What she hadn’t planned on were the chickens (specifically, the roosters).  They had awakened her and her new husband each morning at some hour before they planned to be up.  And she considered that decidedly un-romantic.

It’s estimated that there are 2,000-3,000 chickens roaming this little two-by-four spit of coral rock that we call home. I can only wonder how she missed that fact when planning what one would presume to be the most important vacation of her life.  I mean, aren’t brides all about detail?  Didn’t that fact give rise to the term, “Bridezilla”, into which they transform when all things don’t go exactly as choreographed?

How did she miss this little bit of information?

Anyway …  about the chickens.  Ever visited other Caribbean islands, where not only chickens — but dogs, goats, and other assorted livestock — run wild?  Don’t know about you, but my first experience with that, I considered to be part of the local color … the stuff you travel to experience.   “You won’t see that back in Peoria”, as we are fond of saying.

There is no denying that tourism — the major industry of Key West — has benefited from this funky bit of island culture.  The chickens have become iconic – another of the many attractions in Key West.  In fact, of all the restaurants in Key West, one in particular – Blue Heaven — has made the chickens a decided draw.  There, they roost in the spreading branches of almond and Spanish lime trees over the tables during dinner and peck away under them for fallen morsels at breakfast.

Today’s Gypsy Chickens are descendants of domestic fowl brought over  the high seas by settlers in the 1800’s.  Rumor has it that theirs is a heritage of prize fighting game cocks.  Or maybe their lineage can be traced to simple backyard coops, where they were kept for eggs and an occasional Sunday dinner.

Whatever their origin, these scrappy critters are completely self-sufficient — and amazingly streetwise (NEVER have I seen one that has met their demise there!).  Some consider them an invasive species, feasting on indigenous lizards as they forage through lovingly nurtured gardens.  Others recognize the role they play in keeping the local insect population under control.

Over the years, their population has expanded, and in 2004, they became the subject of controversy bordering on war between those who consider the birds a part of Key West’s historic character and those who view them as a nuisance and just plain want them gone.  In a move that might be called an “only in Key West” solution, the city hired a local man to serve as “official chicken catcher”.  He was to capture and deport the birds to a free-range farm on the mainland. Amid speculation that the birds were secretly being killed, local pro-chicken factions tampered with traps and otherwise interfered with the round-up.  The chicken-catcher position was soon dissolved.

This saga brings to mind another bit of local color:  while you are here, and you get a craving for some really great fried chicken (not feral, of course), do what the locals do (heads up — insider tip coming!):  head for the nearest Dion’s gas station.  Yes, gas station.

Really.  That’s where you will find the best, lip-smacking, eat-it-outta-the-bag-on-your-way-home chicken.  This stuff would bring tears to the eyes of that white-haired, soul-patched, Kentucky gentleman who made “finger lickin’ good” a catch phrase.

Trust me here …  when in Key West, get your chicken fix at Dion’s.

Hmm.  That was a little disjointed train of associative thought. Whatever.

We love the Key West chickens.  Some don’t.  Sorry they don’t get it.

Only, Key West being what it is, this compassionate attitude extends beyond the human, to “all creatures great and small”.   Here, even the animals are equal.  Case in point being the free-ranging chickens and cats.

But this is about the cats.  More on the chickens in a future blog.

The island is populated—some would say overpopulated—with feral cats, who roam the island at will, finding sympathetic residents to feed and dote on them. Many have adopted multiple households and daily follow a culinary circuit of dependable handouts – a feline progressive dinner, if you will.

Kittybooger's notched ear: proof of membership in the TNR sorority!

The success of Key West’s no-kill animal shelter is largely attributable to the community’s trap-neuter-return (TNR) program.  To prevent too many unwanted kittens, the females are methodically trapped, spayed, and released with a notched ear to indicate their new reproductive status.

Kittybooger was in residence when Allen and I moved into the Varela Street compound.  Our next door neighbor told us of capturing her for the TNR program, along with a litter of kittens, as they camped out under our then-vacant house, shortly before we arrived.  Ever since, we have fed her but she has never allowed us close enough to touch.

On a Home Depot run yesterday, there in the garden shop was a flourishing pot of catnip, amongst the usual springtime offerings of starter pots of chives, lettuce, and tomatoes.  Having never been owned by a cat before, so not really knowing what to expect, Allen brought it home for Kittybooger as a treat.

She reveled in the few leaves tossed on the pool deck for her investigation, becoming instantly delirious.  Her eyes glazed over as she wallowed rapturously around in the sunshine and shredding greenery, oblivious to all but the intoxicating high she was experiencing.  As night fell, the plant was added to a tabletop garden of potted kitchen herbs on the porch, little further thought being given to it.

The party's over.

This morning’s walk to the front gate to fetch the newspaper revealed quite a surprise!  Kittybooger had apparently had a nocturnal foray into the “herb garden”, and completely trashed the pot of catnip.  I guess we’re going to have to put the remnants into a hanging basket to allow it to recover.  From now on, we’ll be administering Kittybooger’s recreational drugs in more controlled doses!

Just like Key West, there is “something for everyone”, from funky coconut bowling to fine wine tastings designed to curl the pinkie finger of the most discriminating connoisseur.

Want some tips on how to wrap a cake in fondant?  Learn the difference between Old World and New World wines?  Go on a bike tour that ends at the place where they make – and you taste – the best ice creams ever, using unique local ingredients?  Enjoy an authentic Key West shrimp boil on the docks where they bring ‘em off the boats?

How about a visit to an open-air wine market?  Or explore the Key West-Cuba connection by celebrating the birth of  Cuba’s most renowned literary and political figure, Jose Marti, at a classic cigar dinner.  And you must do the civilized version of the “Duval crawl”:   “Duval Uncorked”, a mile-long stroll, sampling great food, wine and entertainment at some of Key West’s most unique restaurants, bars, galleries, and shops.

We hope we’ve whetted your appetite!  Come join us for all the courses, cultural, cerebral, and gastronomical.  And stay right in the middle of it all, at The Tropical Inn, 812 Duval … where there will be some really special breakfast treats, in honor of this event (included in your room rate, of course)!

For a complete schedule, prices and tickets, go to keywestfoodandwinefestival.com.

January.  The middle of our Ten Day Winter — a cumulative 10 days, more or less, over the period of say, three months:  December, January, and February … when we get occasional cold snaps that may take the mercury down into the 60s or even 50s.  Rarely below that.  And never for more than a few days.  Until now.  This time, it went on for a couple of weeks, starting around the turn of the New Year.  A week ago, we hit one degree away from our all time record low:  42 degrees!

You can always tell who’s a “local” when a cold front comes through. The Fashion Police have been in heaven.

Spotted on several occasions were thick socks with flip flops (and not those stupid “toe socks”; no, I mean regular socks stuffed down between the big toe and its smaller siblings – ouch!).   Multiple layers of hopelessly dated sweaters are the order of the day … along with moth-eaten hats with those funny ear flaps brought along when fleeing the Real World for Paradise’s sunny shores – just in case a ski vacation might be in the future.  One resourceful soul was seen shopping at Publix in full Santa suit because it was the warmest thing he owns (true story)!

Our ubiquitous iguanas have been immobilized by the cold, seen sunning on fences and roadsides in a primal drive to absorb heat.  Turtles in the ocean were cold-stunned, the fortunate ones being rescued and warmed in kiddie pools at the Turtle Hospital up on Marathon.   Today, fish litter the beaches near White Street Pier, the result of of a massive cold kill.

South Florida farmers are calculating their losses to citrus and strawberry crops.   Mahogany and Spanish Lime trees are laying down thick blankets of untimely-shed leaves on the sidewalks.  Heliconias and bromeliads have yellowed.  And I’ve been wondering how the pair of manatees that hang out near Hogfish at Safe Harbor have fared.

Our lovebirds in the garden came through just fine, although I’ll admit to being very anxious about them.  My internet research called them “hardy little parrots”, but isn’t that relative?  At what temperature does “hardy” turn to “vulnerable to prolonged stress” – or worse?  Weighing the risk of trauma and wing injuries by netting them to escape the cold in a too-small cage indoors against coping with the elements in the familiar confines of their aviary, I opted for encapsulating it in multiple layers of quilts and a topper of plastic, to break the wind.  Not pretty, but apparently functional.

The birds refused their daily servings of fresh fruit and veggies in favor of copious quantities of seeds, an interesting demonstration of survival instinct.  Today, they are back to nibbling away on their favorites – apple and bean sprouts.  We’ve returned to short sleeves and are wondering if maybe we’ve had our Ten Day Winter, all at once this year.

I think I’ll go turn the AC back on now.

Never before has there been such a cornucopia of  things to see and do, from Thanksgiving Eve through New Years Night, in the Southernmost City!  Here are some highlights (there’s actually much more; these are just some of our favorites) to get you into the holiday spirit, island style.  And don’t forget the shopping opportunities!  Our local merchants are offering great bargains on treasures to be found no where else but Key West!

Thanksgiving Eve, Wednesday, November 25

If you were lucky enough to be spending the Thanksgiving holidays in Key West, you perhaps joined the festivities to kick off the 2009 holiday season with the lighting of the Key West “Harbor Walk of Lights” at what we locals call “The Bight” and may appear on your map as “Historic Seaport”.  The switch was flipped on thousands of holiday lights lining the Historic Seaport Harbor Walk, which runs for four blocks along the waterfront where Green, William, Margaret, and Grinnell Streets meet the Gulf of Mexico.  The lights will sparkle on the water every night through New Years night.

Thursday, December 3:  Lighting of the Southernmost Christmas Trees

^{Harbor Walk of Lights}

Shortly after sunset, the Harbor Walk of Lights will become complete with the lighting of four Southernmost Christmas Trees, one located at each plaza along the Harbor Walk and one in the Key West Ferry Terminal. The smell of natural pines mingling with the tang of salty sea breeze is unique to a Caribbean Christmas.

Saturday, December 5:  Annual Christmas parade, beginning at 7 PM

Originating at Bayview Park, traveling to Duval Street via Truman Ave., then Duval Street to the Gulf.

If you’re “of a certain age”, you probably grumble about how much more meaningful Christmas used to be.  You know, before TV commercials and internet ads moved the gifting frenzy to late summer.  Back when everyone in town turned out to see the local high school band march down Main Street in the annual Christmas parade.

Here’s your chance to catch a Memory Lane glimpse into a best-kept secret that, thriving quietly in the shadow of Key West’s presence as a world class travel destination, is its lesser-known persona as Smalltown USA, where hardworking folk raise their families and rally behind community causes.

A true, old-fashioned, community event as only Key West could do it, the Holiday Parade is an incongruous conglomoration of the playful, provocative, religious, and mythical – what more delightful mix for the child in all of us?

Local dignitaries (if one can use that word in Key West) ride the route in convertibles.  Floats fashioned from light-strewn boats on trailers and pickup trucks sporting banners representing various local organizations alternate with bands exuberantly playing Christmas carols.  Fire trucks, drag queens, schools, civic clubs, and churches peacefully merge, exuding the spirit of the season, while everywhere, candy flies through the air and excited children scramble from their curbside viewing spots to retrieve it.

Of course, Mr. and Mrs. Claus – gender assignation unimportant, in a nod to Key West’s official motto,  “One Human Family” – is always a highlight!

Sunday, December 6:  Schooner Wharf Tree Trimming Party 5 PM

Schooner Wharf Bar & Galley on the Harbor Walk of Lights at The Bight

Bring a nautical ornament to hang on the Schooner Wharf Christmas tree, and enjoy a free cup of holiday cheer —- eggnog with rum, Swedish glogg or hot applejack.  Prizes will be awarded for the most original, most nautical and most popular ornaments.  Donate an unwrapped gift for the Toys for Tots toy drive and get – what else? — a free cocktail!

Friday & Saturday, December 11 & 12:  Holiday Historic Inn Tour

5:50 – 8PM, various locations in Old Town (www.keywestinntour.com for schedule)

The holiday season is one of the most enchanting and beautiful times to visit Key West, and the annual Historic Lighted Inn Tour captures the essence of our tropical island.  Sample refreshments provided by the finest Key West restaurants as you stroll from inn to inn, taking in each one’s individual personality.

The Tropical Inn is offering free tour tickets with a 3-night stay, both weekends of the tour. Check availability and book your room today!

Friday & Saturday, December 11 & 12:  Reef Relief Holiday Cayo Carnival

Conch Republic Seafood at the Bight (Historic Key West Seaport) 5:00 – 11:00pm Friday & 11:00am – 11:00pm Saturday

The Holiday Cayo Carnival is back, under the big top tent outside the Conch Republic Seafood Company.  Great food, drinks, music and entertainment to benefit one of the Keys’ most worthy causes, Reef Relief!

Saturday, December 12: Annual Lighted Boat Parade

6-8 PM at The Bight (Historic Key West Harbor)

This magical display of holiday lights and nautical creativity on the waters of the Bight is an annual Key West tradition. Boat owners vie for $20,500 in cash prizes. 

Friday, December 18:  Fourth Annual Free Christmas Concert and Bite of the Bight Holiday Food Tasting

Foot of Margaret Street the Harbor Walk of Lights, 5-9 PM

Another classic Key West community holiday event, this year’s celebration features music from perennial holiday favorite, the Gerald Adams Elementary School’s Steal Your Heart Steel Drum Band. You’ll also be treated to a diversity of special holiday performances, including a Reggae Christmas by Toko Irie and Family, a Country Christmas by C.W. Colt, “A Sailors Christmas” by Geoff Kaufman, and returning for their second year at the Bight Before Christmas Concert: the ever-popular traveling family band, The Doerfels.

Also that night, the best restaurants in the Harbor Walk area will be serving up their signature dishes at the “Bite of the Bight” Holiday Food Tasting.  Bring a hearty appetite and leave jolly, full of holiday cheer!

Friday & Saturday, December 18 & 19: Holiday Historic Inn Tour 5:30 to 8PM

5:30 – 8PM, various locations in Old Town (www.keywestinntour.com for schedule)

Key West is known for its historic inns, and the Historic Lighted Inn Tour is the perfect way to view these magnificent properties decorated for the season, featuring art, fine food, and refreshments.

Free tour tickets when you stay 3 nights at The Tropical Inn! Check availability and book your room today!

Christmas Day, December 25:  Festive holiday brunches, lunches, and dinners at Key West restaurants

Our world-class restaurants show off their best, vying with each other for the most creative gastronomical feats in honor of the day.  Over-indulge in an elaborate hotel buffet, order ala carte from the special holiday menu at your favorite intimate eatery, or pack a gourmet picnic (don’t forget the champagne!), bike to the beach, dig your toes into the sand and toast envious friends back home in colder climes via cellphone!  Now, that’s a Caribbean Christmas!

Tuesday & Wednesday, December 29 & 30:  Old Island Restoration Foundation’s 50^th Annual House Tours

Various locations (http://www.oirf.org/housetour.htm for schedule)

As part of the Old Island Days Celebration, there will be tours of spectacular historic homes decorated for the holidays.  Walk from house to house or take a free ride on a Conch Tour train.  If you love historic architecture and creative interior design, this is a “must do” – just like the Innkeeper’s Historic Holiday Inn Tours — so mark your calendar!

New Years Eve, Thursday, December 31

At the stroke of midnight, take your pick:  the countdown lowering of the Giant Conch Shell at Sloppy Joe’s, the drop of the Pirate Wench from a 110-foot sailboat mast at Schooner Wharf, or the descent of local drag queen, Sushi, in the Red High Heel, in the 700 block of Duval Street.  No matter the venue, don’t be surprised to see CNN cameras hovering!  Key West has in recent years become a media darling, vying with New york’s Times Square, as Old Year meets New in the Conch Republic.

Balmy breezes and flip-flops will be the order of the evening for the celebration, when the Shell, the Wench, and Sushi-in-the-Shoe touch down at midnight.  Champagne corks will pop, the confetti will fly, fireworks will fill the sky, and merriment will be at frenzy level in the streets of old Key West!

The Tropical Inn (only a block from Sushi’s performance – and a short walk to the others) is almost sold out for the Christmas/New Year holidays.  Call today to secure your reservation!

In 1978, on Halloween Day, local entrepreneurs, who have now earned the status of local icons, Joe Liszka and Frank Romero, found themselves at what is now perhaps the busiest intersection in Old Town, Front and Duval Streets.  On a typical day of warm, brilliant sunshine, lay before them a distressingly deserted scene.  Nothing moving, no traffic, no tourists, locked up storefronts because there was no business to support the shops during “off season”.

They decided that what was needed was “a fest, a carnival, a celebration, something that will entice people to change our moribund season to one of great fun; a party that will bring many people to understand that this season is one of our best.”  The shared vision and inspiration created on that day proved to be the incubation of the concept that would become Fantasy Fest, this year celebrating 30 years (!) of good-natured debauchery and zany, ribald merriment.

Each year, the celebration grows, bringing tens of thousands of visitors to Duval Street for the grand finale parade. Coinciding with Halloween night this year, it promises to be an even more exciting time than usual.  Leading up to it is a 10-day party, with increasingly elaborate and high-energy events, building in excitement by the day.  Click here for an overview of this year’s schedule, in keeping with the theme, “Villains, Vixens and Vampires”!  There is something for all persuasions, from a child-friendly pet masquerade, to dare-to-be-bare body painting, to decidedly adult, edgy adventures, so don’t be shy, come join in the fun!

The Tropical Inn’s strategic location right at the midpoint of Duval Street means that all the zaniness passes right by our front doors.  Our porches provide “ring side seats” to the Duval Street pageant that becomes progressively more colorful and outrageous with each passing day.

On Saturday night, we enjoy the grand finale parade by treating our guests to a complimentary open bar of top-shelf libations and a gourmet buffet (no need to scramble for that mass-produced street food for dinner!), which starts early and remains available throughout the parade.  Each is assured an uncrowded place on the Duval Street porches for parade viewing, from which they revel in being an integral part of the extravaganza, caught up in the pulsing, vibrant atmosphere.  The upstairs veranda is especially popular, with guests throwing and receiving airborne strings of beads with each parade entry as it passes by,  ”close enough to touch”.  All the while, they have the convenience of their rooms near at hand and the ability to freshen their drinks and take in the festivities just above the crush of the crowd.

Each year, more than half of our attendees stake their room claims for next year’s festivities before this year’s revelry comes to an end.  These are our “Fantasy Fest regulars”, who return year after year.  And each year we add a few new friends, many of whom, in turn, become repeat guests, both during Fantasy Fest and at other times throughout the year.

We’re sold out this year, of course, but we begin taking reservations for Fantasy Fest 2010 on November 5 (our loyal regulars have “first dibs” until then).  We have an e-mail “flyer” that we can send you now, with rates and a description of the special Fantasy Fest reservation procedure, to get you planning!  Give us a call or drop us an e-mail for more information: 888-611-6510 or info@ourkeywest.net.  As you might imagine, we have a waiting list, so get on it early so you’ll be near the top and come join us for next year’s fantastic fantasy, fun, and frivolity!

In spite of the clearing trend, we have had record-setting high temperatures, which have apparently contributed to maintaining the conditions favorable for waterspout formation.   On a recent afternoon spent in front of the inn’s computer screen, I spotted from the corner of my eye a fat column rising above the neighboring rooftops.  It extended from what had appeared to be only transient clouds down to the area a few blocks away that I knew was over water, near the Bight. It was one of the best-developed waterspouts I have ever seen, and lasted an unusually prolonged amount of time – long enough, in fact, to round up guests who happened to be in the house at the time for a bird’s eye view from the upstairs veranda.

It was all quite exciting … an impressive show, indeed, as the elongated cone formed, dissipated slightly, and reformed repeatedly, waltzing gracefully across the horizon. Then it vanished before our eyes, as if it had been only a ghostly apparition, transitioning into a cooling afternoon shower.

The Florida Keys have been called “the greatest natural vortex lab in the world”.   Waterspouts occur more frequently here than anywhere else.  It has been estimated that the waters around the Keys, especially from Marathon to Key West and westward to the Dry Tortugas, host up to 500 waterspouts a year. They are so common that most go unreported unless they cause damage.

Natural weather conditions and geography supply two basic ingredients for the formation of waterspouts.  During the summer and fall, temperatures in the mid-80s and low-90s heat the shallow water surrounding the islands to produce extreme humidity, especially in the late afternoon.  As the hot air rises, the humidity condenses into tiny water droplets that make up clouds.

The second important waterspout ingredient in the Keys seems to be the regular east or northeast “trade winds” that blow parallel to the island chain.  This causes the aforementioned clouds to bank into a line that encourages waterspouts.

You may have heard that waterspouts are tornadoes that form over water.  While they are no doubt “kissing cousins”, researchers have, in recent years, discovered some basic differences between the two.  For instance, despite being similar in intensity to tornadoes, waterspouts are generally smaller in diameter and less destructive.  Lacking high-altitude winds to draw on as do tornadoes, the fair-weather type of waterspouts so often spotted in the Florida Keys last only around 10 to 15 minutes and are not usually a threat to land. However, they can be especially dangerous to ships and planes.  In fact, it has been speculated that they may be responsible for the mysterious disappearances in the Bermuda Triangle.

While most often spotted in conjunction with skies threatening a storm, many waterspouts form during relatively fair weather. Cumulus clouds that build to around 18,000 to 20,000 feet are formed by water vapor condensing from the sea surface.  The same heat energy is responsible for the rapidly rising air currents that spawn waterspouts at the anvil, or base, of the cloud.

Waterspouts can be especially problematic to boaters because they may be relatively transparent and initially visible only by the unusual “dark spot” on the water that is a sign of a spiraling funnel of air.  Even though it is sometimes invisible in the early stages, a vortex is reaching the ocean surface from the cloud. When the wind speeds reach around 40 mph, the wind begins to kick up spray in a circular pattern — the spray vortex.

At this time, the funnel points down from the cloud toward the ring, which then develops into a pattern of light- and dark-colored bands on the water that spiral out from the dark spot.  The funnel begins to become more and more visible as the low air pressure inside it cools the air enough for water vapor to begin condensing into tiny droplets.

The mature funnel that we recognize as a waterspout is actually a swirling cloud, the dissipation of which usually occurs when rain begins falling from the parent cloud. Cool air brought down by the rain cuts off the supply of warm, humid air that is necessary to maintain the waterspout’s strength.